Real estate shows are back. They have emerged as big hits on home-improvement television. Turn your channel to HGTV, Home and Garden Television, and chances are a real estate program is on with a host serving as a Realtor/unauthorized couples therapist guiding hopeful buyers. It’s like Dr. Phil got his broker’s license.
As a longtime HGTV viewer, I have an unscientific theory about couples’ buying behavior: They usually choose the house at the top of or above their price range. This decision comes after the start of the show when buyers emphatically insist they absolutely cannot exceed a certain asking price. Not gonna happen. The host nods knowingly, yeah, whatever, while driving to a higher priced neighborhood. By the end of the show, the once-frugal pair are plunking down extra bucks for the house with the view. Or the farmhouse sink. Or the big kitchen that will be “great for entertaining.”
Same thing happens on renovation programs like “Love It or List It.” A Realtor and designer compete for a homeowner’s choice to keep or sell. This comes after the designer renovates the owner’s house while the Realtor shows comparable listings that are, inevitably, newer, bigger and different.
Theory No. 2: Homeowners usually list it, in spite of the expansive basement-turned-cozy-game room that exponentially increased the home’s value.
Why is this?
I’ve mulled this question extensively while eating Twizzlers in front of the TV. I believe it has a lot to do with desire. We want the farmhouse sink because the modest house in the other neighborhood – the one with the older sink – looks suddenly, well, older. And the fixer-upper bungalow with the tiny lawn just shrunk compared to the two-story on five acres. Desire can inspire, no doubt, but sometimes, it fuels wants over needs.
At some point in the program, the couple visibly struggle with their decision, tantamount to a desperate housewife reality show. That’s when I wave my cherry licorice at the screen and yell, “Don’t do it! That yard is way too much upkeep! You can buy a cheaper house and change the sink! Or stay where you are!”
French Philosopher Gaston Bachelard wrote “The Poetics of Space: The Classic Look At How We Experience Intimate Places.” “Our home is our universe,” he wrote, “with our dreams and desires about space wrapped up in it.”
Last Christmas I asked my college-aged son what was his favorite holiday memory. His answer surprised me. He said it was the Christmas we lived in an apartment and played Taboo with my sisters, his aunts. This was our downsized Christmas when space and money were tight and our future uncertain. We could have gone to one of my sister’s homes, but we always hosted Christmas and I didn’t want that year to be any different. It was cold and rainy outside so I pulled from the closet this silly game of word guessing with a loud buzzer that propelled our family (OK, my sisters and me) into hysterical laughing and crying.
Bachelard also observed we humans tend to gravitate toward the smallest space in our homes, regardless if it is a mansion or duplex. Looking back, our apartment life was tenuous, but also filled with intimate family time taking long walks around the complex’s pond, watching TV in our living/dining/kitchen area and hosting pizza nights with another family who lived one apartment unit away.
We didn’t have a farmhouse sink or large home with a view, but we had each other. It was our universe and it was enough.
